Tips for a Safe and Calm Holiday

The Fourth of July is often filled with festive parades, backyard barbecues, and dazzling fireworks displays. But for some seniors—particularly veterans and those with a history of trauma—this holiday can be emotionally challenging.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that can develop after someone experiences or witnesses a traumatic event. For older adults, PTSD may stem from military combat, physical or emotional abuse, accidents, or life-threatening situations. The symptoms can include flashbacks, anxiety, hypervigilance, and difficulty sleeping—especially when triggered by sights, sounds, or smells that resemble the original trauma.

Fireworks, with their sudden booms and bright flashes, can closely mimic the experience of combat or traumatic events, making the Fourth of July a high-risk time for emotional distress. Understanding how to recognize and respond to these reactions can help you support your loved one or resident with empathy and care.

If you’re caring for someone who lives with PTSD, here are some practical steps to help them feel safe and supported during the holiday:

1. Talk About the Holiday Ahead of Time

Start the conversation early. Let your loved one or resident know when fireworks are expected in the area, including community displays and neighbors who may light them at home. Giving them time to mentally prepare can reduce feelings of helplessness and surprise.

2. Create a Safe and Quiet Environment

If possible, designate a quiet space in the home that is insulated from outside noise. Close windows, draw blackout curtains, and consider using white noise machines or soft music to drown out external sounds. For some, using noise-canceling headphones can also help.

3. Avoid Overstimulation

Dim lights, reduce background distractions, and offer calming activities like reading, puzzles, or familiar TV shows. Avoid large gatherings or busy public events if they are likely to be overstimulating or anxiety-inducing.

4. Offer Grounding Techniques

Encourage grounding techniques to help manage distress in the moment:

• Deep breathing exercises
• Holding a comforting object
• Naming five things they can see, four they can touch, etc.
• Gentle movement or stretching

Caregivers can model and guide these exercises during heightened anxiety.

5. Be Mindful of Medications and Triggers

If the senior takes medications for anxiety or sleep, ensure they are taken as prescribed. Keep emergency contacts and calming tools accessible, and watch for signs of increased distress—like agitation, restlessness, or withdrawal.

6. Encourage Involvement in Alternative Celebrations

Help them celebrate the holiday in ways that feel meaningful but not overwhelming. Some ideas include:

• Watching a patriotic movie
• Looking through photo albums of past Independence Days
• Enjoying a quiet BBQ with close family

These quieter traditions can foster connection without distress.

7. Know When to Seek Help

If PTSD symptoms become unmanageable or significantly interfere with their well-being, connect with a mental health professional or crisis line. Having support on hand—whether from a VA specialist, therapist, or care team—can make a difference.

Additional Resources

• Veterans Crisis Line: Call 988, then press 1 or text 838255
• National Center for PTSD: ptsd.va.gov
• SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline: 1-800-985-5990

While fireworks may be unavoidable, with planning and compassion, caregivers can help seniors feel protected and included during the Fourth of July. Your calm presence and understanding can make this holiday more manageable—and meaningful—for those living with PTSD.

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1. Probate – Court supervised administration of your estate is never a pleasant journey. Despite the helpful court personnel, there are still filing fees, lack of privacy issues, and long waiting periods before distribution. And that’s if all goes well.

2. Asset Protection – Many people do not take advantage of the asset protection opportunities that can be achieved with relatively basic estate planning. Creating trusts for spouses and children with the right provisions means your assets can be protected from claims of creditors and predators for years to come. While we hope that our children would not fall victim to divorce, this is one asset protection conversation that must be planned for.

3. Tax Planning – This is never an easy issue as the various tax systems don’t always line up with each other. Consider the tension between gift planning, (giving away some of your assets) to shelter appreciation by moving them outside of your estate, and loss of basis for capital gains purposes. While not easy, this issue can really cost you money if not properly handled.

4. Family Disharmony – Estate planning is a way for you to say you care about your loved ones. But selection of your personal representative or trustee can also stir the pot and create issue issues for those not chosen. Sometimes it is best to name a non-family member to be in charge of your estate. Giving thought to how to help resolve these conflicts or at least, not make them worse, can help to avoid family conflicts.

5. Attorney’s Fees – The best way to control legal fees is to incur them while you are alive and able to oversee the planning process. Failure to plan is likely to increase the total amount of fees paid. Especially if family members decide that fighting is the best way to resolve disputes after you’re gone.

6. Successor Fiduciaries – Make sure that you name back up personal representatives and trustees, or provide the beneficiaries with a way to fill a vacant role, so that a court proceeding is not required.

7. Contingent Beneficiaries – Make plans for your estate in the event that your immediate family members die and are unable to inherit your estate. Pick a charity or a group of more distant relatives or close friends.

8. Updating Beneficiary Designations – Life insurance and retirement accounts are controlled by the beneficiary designations you make when you purchase the life insurance or open a retirement account. They are most notably the small boxes you checked at the end of your application. Make sure these stay updated. We have seen more than once a policy which still names a client’s first wife or husband many years after a divorce and remarriage.

9. Joint Accounts – Often used as a convenience during life and a will substitute at death. Because these accounts go to the survivor, make sure that this lines up with your overall plan of passing assets to your heirs. Leaving money in a joint account for one child with the idea that they will spread the wealth around after your death can be a recipe for disaster.

10. Failing to start – Procrastination is probably the leading cause of problems in estate planning. Once a disability or death occurs, planning becomes very difficult and lots more expensive, if possible at all.

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Although this is not a new program, not everyone is aware of his or her potential eligibility. “Veterans have earned this benefit by their service to our nation,” said Secretary of Veterans Affairs Jim Nicholson. “We want to ensure that every veteran or surviving spouse who qualifies has the chance to apply.”

This benefit may be available to wartime veterans and surviving spouses who have in-home care or who live in nursing-homes or assisted-living facilities.

Many elderly veterans and surviving spouses whose incomes are above the congressionally mandated legal limit for a VA pension may still be eligible for the special monthly Aid and Attendance benefit if they have large medical expenses, including nursing home expenses, for which they do not receive reimbursement. To qualify, claimants must be incapable of self support and in need of regular personal assistance.

Some Basic Criteria

The basic criteria for the Aid and Attendance benefit include, but not limited to the inability to feed oneself, to dress and undress without assistance, or to take care of one’s own bodily needs. People who are bedridden or need help to adjust special prosthetic or orthopedic devices may also be eligible, as well as those who have a physical or mental injury or illness that requires regular assistance to protect them from hazards or dangers in their daily environment.

For a wartime veteran or surviving spouse to qualify for this special monthly pension, the veteran must have served at least 90 days of active military service, one day of which was during a period of war, and be discharged under conditions other than dishonorable.

Wartime veterans who entered active duty on or after September 8, 1980, (October 16, 1981, for officers) must have completed at least 24 continuous months of military service or the period for which they were ordered to active duty.

If all requirements are met, the VA determines eligibility for the Aid and Attendance benefit by adjusting for un-reimbursed medical expenses from the veteran’s or surviving spouse’s total household income. If the remaining income amount falls below the annual income threshold for the Aid and Attendance benefit, VA pays the difference between the claimant’s household income and the Aid and Attendance threshold.

The Aid and Attendance has an income threshold for a veteran without dependents and the threshold increases if a veteran has a dependent(s). The annual Aid and Attendance threshold for a surviving spouse also increases if there is a dependent child(ren). Information is also available on the Internet at www.va.gov or from any local veterans service organization.

Aid and Attendance Benefits and Housebound Allowance

Aid and Attendance (A&A) and Housebound benefits are benefits paid in addition to a veteran’s monthly pension, providing they meet the benefit criteria.

A veteran may be eligible for A&A when:

• The veteran requires the aid of another person in order to perform personal functions required in everyday living, such as bathing, feeding, dressing, attending to the wants of nature, adjusting prosthetic devices, or protecting himself/herself from the hazards of his/her daily environment, OR,
• The veteran is bedridden, in that his/her disability or disabilities requires that he/she remain in bed apart from any prescribed course of convalescence or treatment, OR,
• The veteran is a patient in a nursing home due to mental or physical incapacity, OR,
• The veteran is blind, or so nearly blind as to have corrected visual acuity of 5/200 or less, in both eyes, or concentric contraction of the visual field to 5 degrees or less.

A veteran may be eligible for Housebound benefits when:

• The veteran has a single permanent disability evaluated as 100-percent disabling AND, due to such disability, he/she is permanently and substantially confined to his/her immediate premises, OR,
• The veteran has a single permanent disability evaluated as 100-percent disabling AND, another disability, or disabilities, evaluated as 60 percent or more disabling.

A veteran cannot receive both Aid and Attendance and Housebound benefits at the same time.

How to Apply for Aid and Attendance and Housebound Benefits

The unfortunate truth of the matter is that many veterans are unaware they themselves and/or their spouse may be eligible for VA funded care. These benefits have specific criteria that need to be met and the process is often more involved than you’d think, but it’s worth it to get a potentially large part of the cost of their care covered.

You may apply for Aid and Attendance or Housebound benefits by writing to the VA Regional office having jurisdiction of the claim. That would be the office where you filed a claim for pension benefits. If the regional office of jurisdiction is not known, you may file the request with any VA regional office.

• You should include copies of any evidence, preferably a report from an attending physician validating the need for Aid and Attendance or Housebound type care.
• The report should be in sufficient detail to determine whether there is disease or injury producing physical or mental impairment, loss of coordination, or conditions affecting the ability to dress and undress, to feed oneself, to attend to sanitary needs, and to keep oneself ordinarily clean and presentable.
• In addition, it is necessary to determine whether the claimant is confined to the home or immediate premises.
• Whether the claim is for Aid and Attendance or Housebound, the report should indicate how well the individual gets around, where the individual goes, and what he or she is able to do during a typical day.

Does the VA Pay for Caregivers? YES!

What are Homemaker/Home Health Aide (H/HHA) Services?

Taking care of another can be mentally and physically demanding. A spouse or an individual trying to do it all can quickly become depressed, injured or just worn out. A Homemaker/Home Health Aide is a trained caregiver who can come to a Veteran’s home and help the Veteran take care of themselves and their daily needs.

A Homemaker/ Home Health Aide can also be used as a way to get Respite Care at home for the family caregiver. They can help Veterans remain living in their own home.

Homemaker/Home Health Aides are not nurses, but they are supervised by a registered nurse who oversees the Veteran’s daily living needs. They are trained, licensed, bonded and insured caregivers. Homemaker/Home Health Aides work for contracted, VA-approved organizations that specialize in assisting Veterans who need skilled services such as assistance with activities of daily living or instrumental activities of daily living. Services can be used in combination with other Home and Community Based Services.

Who is Eligible?

Homecare services are part of a service within the VHA Standard Medical Benefits Package, all enrolled Veterans are eligible if they meet the clinical need for the service. There is no age requirement.

A co-pay for Homemaker/Home Health Aide services may be charged based on the veteran’s VA service-connected disability status.

Services are based on the veteran’s assessed needs. A veteran or family caregiver can talk with a VA social worker to find out what specific help they may be able to receive. For example, a caregiver may be able to come to the home daily, several times a week or just once in a while, depending on the veteran’s needs and what the VA has approved.

What Services Can I Get?

A brief list of daily activities you may be able to receive help with include:

• Eating
• Getting dressed
• Bathing
• Using the bathroom
• Moving from one place to another
• Shopping for food
• Cooking & Cleaning
• Doing laundry
• Taking medication
• Getting to appointments
• Using the telephone

What About Help for the Spouse Caring for a Veteran (Respite Care)?

For the Family Caregiver, it can be hard to find time for a much-needed break from the daily routine and care responsibilities. Respite care is time for relaxing and renewing energy. If a Veteran requires a Caregiver, the spouse is eligible to receive up to 30 days of respite care per year. The care can be offered in a variety of settings including in your home.

Respite care may also be provided after family caregiver’s unexpected hospitalization, a need to go out of town,
or a family emergency. Staying strong while caring for your Veteran means staying strong for yourself. By taking an opportunity
to be refreshed through respite care, you may be amazed at how your fresh outlook will help you and your Veteran.

There are Resources to Assist You…

If you’d like to find out if you or a family member is eligible, you’ll want to start the process sooner rather than later as it can take up to 6 months to get approved.

We recommend asking trusted sources for help with the application process, such as your care community, the local senior center, the local Senior & Disability Services office or a senior care referral agent.

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